Monday, October 24, 2011

F.R.I.E.N.D.S desi style

In this hectic life of ours, there are a few things we love devotedly. Things that the humdrum of routine cannot take us away from. Infact, things that would make us happy people if we could bring them into our routines forever. Watching sitcoms would feature somewhere on top of that wishlist and F.R.I.E.N.D.S could just take the crown and be done with it.

But one very late night, Nandini and Mrinalini were discussing how they had been termed certain things because of their ‘race’, sometimes by neighbours, sometimes by acquaintances (read: people who don’t feature anywhere in the list of important people but who talk and judge as if they do) and suddenly they realized how Chandler did some things very characteristic of a Punjabi. One thing lead to another and before we knew it, we had realised each and every member of Friends was THAT endearing to us only because they were also similar to certain fellow Indians. True story. Read the very racist version below:

Rachel ‘Rachhi’ Chawla: What else could the quintessential, picture perfect Rachel be but a Punjabi? The fetish for fashion, the expensive clothes and style, that slight element of superficiality and appearance oriented outlook, all covering a very genuinely generous heart?

The pieces fit, right? She’s the hawt, slightly spoilt girl. Maybe lets qualify her as a modern Punjabi chick :D You know the one we’re talking about. Well turned out, nails done, not a hair out of place and an ensemble right out of the pages of a fashion magazine. In Dilli, we sometimes also call them GK types but let's not forget that Rachel also has a soft heart, very Punjabi-people like loyalty to friends and despite everything, an incurable sense of romance, very conventional at that!

She also has that typical dysfunctional family where siblings quibble, her father expects her to 'do well', her mother expects her to marry well (read marry a wealthy dentist) and also often criticizes everything, from the cut of her hair to her profession as a waitress. Wait, it can't GET any more Punjabi than this!

Ross 'Robindra' Chattopadhyay: The oily haired, very academic Mama’s boy who philosophically believes in true love. He loves flaunting his degrees, literally calls himself a doctor and thinks he knows more than collectively all his friends, purely on the basis of his education. His mother dotes on him, keeps the best things of the family reserved for him, (typical of a Calcuttan Ma with a kid called Bapi). What he has with Rachel, is what we call Rabindric form of love, that pure eternal love that stands the test of time, even several marriages in the case of Ross. You can expect a typical Titli and Shekhar to love each other since school, meet each other at various points in life, be with different people and still be destined to be together. Ask any benagli guy, he will nod. So yes, Ross thakche sir!

Monica 'Mala' Raman: now, Monica could have been many things, but a South Indian fitted her best. From the several south Indian friends we have, there is one thing that comes out starkly; that they are very particular. Ever watched Monica clean her kitchen slab or cut her vegetables? Infact, ever seen her without her frown lines or that sense of hurry? Yes, welcome to the land of Monica, the Southie. She has OCD, loves to compete everywhere (have some Southie colleagues if you want to experience this) and is very particular about the tiniest to the biggest thing in her life. Ofcourse, she thinks she is the best in no matter what you tell her to do, be it cooking up a Thanksgiving meal or playing foosball or winning the lottery, even at the cost of pushing and shoving her friends. Oh and yes, watch her over think and over analyze all of her relationships in life and you will know what we are talking about.

Phoebe Gonsalves: There are no two ways of describing Phoebe. She is just very Boho. And very Goan, if you ask us. She loves to dress up in carefree and Bohemian clothes like long flowy dresses, necklaces, flowers and her usual hairstyles are as if she is on a vacation with beads, bands etc. She has many lovers, sometimes two at a time, reeking of the typical Goa animal. The best part about her, is that she can’t be bothered. Nothing in the realm of regular, mundane life can affect her. She has a fun, weird way of living, which doesn’t necessarily include sanity or sensibility at all times. To add to the very Goan avatar, she loves crystal balls, tarot and after life. Tell a Goan about your problems and they will ask you to loosen up. So will Phoebe.

Chandler ‘Chandu’ Chadha: Yes, we do believe that Chandler would be a Punjabi too. An elitist, foot-always-in-the mouth witty Punjabi. For who else can be as casually sarcastic but always tactless like Chandler than sadda pados da Chandu Chaddha who will have a – "Hey! What’d I say moment", after he’s said some silly but very very 'mooh phat' thing. Take for example his ability to constantly ask awkward questions, crack jokes that only he finds funny and a terrible sense of timing that makes for many comic moments. Punjabis are very aware of their quality of spurting out the first thing that comes to their minds and it probably makes them who they are, slightly rude, very funny and entertaining people.

Joey 'Jaggi' Hooda: C'mon! You cannot miss the signs! If there was ever a translation of friends into typical Indian sects with racist connotations, Joey would definitely be a Jaat boy :D We mean, he's good looking, good physique, and low IQ :P Is this too racist? We wouldn't know since one of our best friends is Jatni herself but we're good at typifying people so here it is! Drinking galleons of milk because he likes to (remember the milk and spoilt juice cartons?), constantly hungry (you could say that's common to all boys but everybody knows Jaat boys have great gastronomic potential) and his belief that he definitely has a way with women, and what do you know, he does too! He's adoringly dim and while everyone loves to hate jaat boys, one cannot but admit they have a local charm, much like the Italian Joey in New York! If you take away all the strippings, Joey is a dumb jock and well, you know the rest!

And we know we know! It is borderline racist but these twenty somethings are Bengali, Punjabi, Jaat and are friends with Punjabi, Bengali, Jaat, South Indians, North Indians, Sindhis, Gujaratis, Baniyas, Muslims, Goans, Bohemians, and all other forms of Indians. (Yes we admit it! Slight bias towards Punjabis and Bengalis but we cant help it ok?) And no, we're not discriminating, we're probably stereotyping and so long as its in fun, its ok right? RIGHT?? :P Ok. Glad we're clear. Wouldn't want this to be like the famous 'Open Letter to Delhi Boy' :P Or maybe we would want that. Fame. Sigh!

P.S: Image Courtesy: Google Images

Google search words on the lines of

Haryana Jat, Punjabi, Modern Bengali man, South Delhi Punjabi, South Indian typical, Bohemian Goan Indian Woman Boho. Amongst others!


Anonymous said...

hahahahaha! This is great stuff! The moment I started reading I knew that joey would be a jat :P and phoebe could be a bong too...bong women are pretty loony. But I love the post!

DogWithBlog said...

Perfectly stereotyped, Can't think of anything else for Joey :)

Zeba said...

Hahaha. Wonderful.


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