Friday, October 29, 2010

Puke free since ummm.....

Ted Mosby has been puke free since 93. We were in class 3 then. We were neither drinking nor puking then.
Cut to 2010, life has changed. We are 25 now (sigh) and have got drunk. Innumerable times. But puking had never been an issue.

We have seen a friend put his face inside the pot after drinking all night. We have also seen a friend puke at 4am in the morning after having ten bottles of beer the entire night. She is 4feet high. It was just amazing that she lasted that long.

Let’s face it. Its shit embarrassing to vomit. You stink, you look oh-so-not pretty and your friends are exasperated (yes they are, do not believe what they say!)

Piya and Anjali have always been the sober drinkers compared to Nandu and Mrinu. While Nandu and Mrinu would go all out (literally) after two drinks, it would always take a good amount of alcohol to get Piya and Anjali drunk (in the literal sense). So puking was also not really in their scheme of things. While Anjali had puked couple of times in the loo, Piya’s record remained spotless. Almost.

So when Piya decided to get drunk on her 24th Birthday, no one really had predicted what was in store later that night. The evening started off with a large pitcher of LIIT. The pitcher with numerous straws was happily passed around and everyone was slowly getting into the mood. Numerous other drinks followed. Anjali and Mrinu made several rounds to the bar and got their glasses re-filled. What is interesting is the fact that the birthday girl was not seen near the bar even once. Neither was she seen holding a drink which she could rightfully claim as her own. All throughout the party, she took sips of everyone else’s drinks but never really went and got her own drink.

Then the obligatory Birthday shots were organised and everyone had two shots each of kamakazi, which was rounded up with few other drinks. By this time everyone was good high, not shit drunk but entertaining high. The night was young (and cold) and people were swaying to the music. This is an observation, that one tends to get higher when one dances after consuming alcohol. That person may not have consumed too much alcohol but after grooving at the dance floor will be quite drunk. No idea how it works, but it does.

And that’s exactly what happened to our dear Piya. Sips from numerous drinks+LIIT+shots+fresh air+dance= a very drunk Piya. Funny part is that drunk Piya also adopted a fake birtish accent, which she noticed but couldn’t get rid of. So while on the way back to her place, she kept speaking randomly in that accent and punctuated every third sentence with “I have this funny accent” or “I am speaking in this funny accent”. Yes Piya, we had all noticed it.

We finally reached her place at an hour when everyone was fast asleep. Drunk girls make a lot of noise. They are loud and high pitched. And that’s not appreciated by parents. True story. And finally it happened. Right in front of us, at the porch of Piya’s place. She threw up amidst the beautiful plants that her parents had lovingly put. Lots of flowers, and there, Piya's puke, literally watered the plants. What is more, she scarred the wall next to the front gate, permanently. And very calmly said, 'Ab chup chap andar chalte hai, ok?' Yeah sure.

Anjali has always claimed that she pukes at her own will. Weird, we know…but that’s how it is. Also, she has always been proud of the fact that she has puked in a sober way, in the loo and not in the pot. And such incidents were rare. She would sometimes claim like Ted “puke free since ….”. But things were to change.

On a school friend’s birthday party, where she knew only the host properly and the rest fleetingly, Anjali decided to make alcohol her friend for the night. After two drinks, things obviously started looking up. She made friends, danced a bit, laughed a lot, drank some more, and predictably got high.

While on her way back, she rolled down the window and decided to take in some fresh air. Bad decision. Because, after drinks (she had lost count) and dance, fresh air just added to the misery. Plus, the empty roads and car at the speed of 80 made matters worse. Being the weirdo, she tried to control and wait till she reached home and the safe surroundings of her loo, but couldn’t. And out it came!

Like a dog, she perched her head out of the car and puked. Because even then, at the back of her head, she knew she could not afford to dirty the car. So there it was, on the car door, the remnants of the rocking night. Next morning, she woke up surprisingly early and strategized as to how to clean the car. Parents were at home and it would be hard to explain why she was going downstairs with a bucket of water and cloth. So she opted for a small bottle of water and piece of paper and went downstairs to clean the car. Borrowed a piece of cloth from a car cleaner and cleaned the car. Early on a Sunday morning. With a bad hangover.

But more importantly, she had her very own puke story. Ugly, disturbing, record breaking and well, Ted Mosby was growing lonelier by the minute.

To be continued...


Jasmine said...

OH MY GOD!! To be contd...thats definitely going to be more fun to read...hahhahah!!

The Sage said...

this is indeed interesting... but do you guys really puke after a couple of drinks only??!! limited tolerance, i see.... :P

Kanishk said...

hahahahahahahahahahah ROFL!!!!!!!!!

Strikes so many chords... brings back soo many memories :)

Anjali said...

@ JB
Yes yes, and you have heard more such stories ;)

@ Sage
In both cases, we lost count of the number of drinks we had. It wasn't couple of drinks but lot of them! :P

@ Kanishk
yea yea, we all have such stories.. :)

Defiant Princess said...

Haha ! sad thing for not mainting the record long enough :D

Piya said...

brings back such good memories... though i regret not being a part of your puke story ;( hence await a another one to be written about :D

Sam (Samrita Kapoor) said...

I agree that even in that drunk stage of puke rushing to leave your mouth, there IS that intricate sense of knowing "I better not puke here" ....I once quickly got up to puke half-asleep and reached for a container that I knew was nearby and puked in!!!
A good read :)


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