Friday, December 31, 2010

Bittersweet Symphony

So another year has come to a closure. And this year flew to say the least. There were changes, big and small, but we managed well. Everytime.

Piya, or the hesistant blogger as she will be now known as, recovered from a bad case of ‘wrong time, wrong guy’ and well, the winters see a new Piya with confidence and the heart in the right place. She bid one of the most memorable part of her life goodbye but only emerged stronger.

Nandu has had a little adventure across the seven seas, is a degree richer but perhaps none the wiser (kidding! But wisdom is definitely overrated)! Stranded in mid-twenties, this year will perhaps take a swing -life’s a clean slate, ready to be filled in. She now is a kickass photographer (to us, she always was) and has started her career, with a ‘little help from her friends’.

Mrinu braved a zor ka jhatka with élan. She, the believer in many things and the one with an open heart embraced a lot of things that were contrary to her philosophies. And till the last moment, she did the juggling act till she finally waded through, with surprising ease. It was probably a big thing but seems natural, when one sees it from a third person view.

Anjali, the little ant of the group had joined a new place in the beginning of this year only to realize she had left the devil for the fire. The new job made her get up at 5am every morning for making reports and while she became worldly wise, the stress showed on her pretty little face. Add to that some very unique relationships and people in her life, and you would agree with us if we said she sustained a zoo cum circus the entire year.

As age catches up with us (pun intended) we become busier. Remember how we wanted to grow up to be able to do things our way? Turns out that when you are a grown up, things still don’t happen your way. There is a fair amount of cajoling, coaxing and mind wrenching efforts to be put before a job is well done. Sigh. If only we could, we would have remained like those little girls from the Vodafone ad, saving seats for our friends, sharing chocolates and well, with no boys in the picture for a long time to come.

The year was nice to us, yes. And we were in turn, very nice to it. We worked hard, partied hard, made amends, made new friendships, braved crap at work and in life, and till last night, braved the very frosty winters to do what we love the most; meet up and share a drink and toast to what is the most precious to us, our friendship.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year that is full of warm, fuzzy memories.

PS-Resolution would be to ummm...(shamelessly confessing)to write more :P

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Puke free since ummm....(contd)

On a September night, when beloved Nandu was planning the beginning of a new chapter, all the girls (including two other buddies (we'll call them Kin and Neenz) met up. We went to Hard Rock Café, to apparently celebrate in style. And we cut a cake, made toasts, clicked pictures and got super, duper drunk. Got hit on, all of us- by a cheesy bartender there- we even have pics with the smarmy fellow. But that's deviating from the point.

We were staying at Nandu’s place, so we didn’t care much about being reprimanded by our parents. We looked for our cars, and at this point, we must tell you Nandu and Mrinu were totally flying off their handles. Mrinu was walking with a different set of people, thinking they were her friends and also trying to open random cars, thinking those were Nandu’s big gaddi.

After several drinks and having a few plates of very cheesy nachos, somehow two very and four semi drunk girls got into one car.
Once inside the car, we were 7 including the hapless driver. Nandu sat on the car floor, mainly because a) there was no space and b) she was sliding off surfaces like everything was a slide. They both were mighty high and none of the others girls could manage two of those. The fresh breeze felt good on our faces but Nandu kept saying ‘I feel queasy, no?’

Mrinu was singing something in her mother tongue and the car felt like a bus. Nandu was trying to get her attention by scraping her knee but Mrinu enjoyed the tickles and continued singing. When the rocky motion of the car (thanks to bad, dumb driver) + enough alcohol and less food - the Nachos decided to make an unsavoury reappearance. On Mrinu's arm.

Mrinu just felt warm and told the world how warm her arm felt. Nandu realized her awesome little skirt was spoilt. She started whining in a funny manner saying ‘My skirt. I puked. Eh eh.’And Mrinu was marveling at how she must share a special bond with Nandu indeed to not be grossed out by by being puked upon. (They share a special bond since)

It was a long night thereafter, with one little bottle of mineral water and an arm and a little skirt that needed washing.

On a cold December nite, Mrinu set off in an empty bus to Connaught Place. She was to meet Anjali and her childhood friend, Lawyer boy. The duo were already hanging out there and Mrinu was to join them. Being too cold and lazy, she had put it off till almost 8pm, but then she trudged in the bus. Once there, it was too overwhelming (Reasons cant be disclosed. Lets say Anjali was quitting the place where they both worked in and umm, romance was in the air.)

So the drinks began. It was a Saturday, so Mrinu had to eat vegetarian fare and she picked really cheesy stuff. And began her stint with Vodka. In the beginning all three of them spoke, with rounds of vodka and cheesy nachos or buns or some veg crap. There was karaoke and awesome singers rolled one favorite song after the other. Mrinu kept coming in and out of focus, she remembered sharing a few laughs, then a lot of colours. In her head, that is.

When she next opened her eyes, Anjali and LB were tabbing the bill. She wanted to get up, to speak, to be able to say she needed the loo, but there was inability written all over her. Anjali, being the awesome friend that she is, understood the need and lifted her till the washroom. in the loo, Mrinu totally chatted up a stranger (asking if the girl had come with her fiance, and to the utter disbelief of Anjali, she hugged that woman when she said she was gonna get married soon)

Thoroughly embarrassed, the three made an exit and started looking for autowalas, mainly for Mrinu. LB, who was from Kolkata and should have been given first prefernce, was too tied up looking for autos for the super high Mrinu. Meanwhile, Mrinu rejected most autowalas shrieking 'Yeh banda rapist lagta hai' to almost every one of them.

When one finally agreed, LB volunteered to drop his hapless school-friend-now-drunk-woman home. Little Anjali prayed and went towards the Metro.
In the auto, Mrinu wanted promises from LB, of the forever kinds and he kept nodding his head to everthing. Him being tall made her look up at him and that did things to her already sick tummy. And then like a projectile, she threw up. from the right side of the auto, she puked, came up, told her buddy 'Basically I never puke' crouched and puked again, came back up and said 'Puking is not my style' and puked some more.

LB kept patting her hand, telling her yes, he agreed that she never puked. In fact he said that even now, she wasn't puking (she later understood that was sarcasm)
After the auto screeched a halt below her house, he asked her to do some last minute damage control, like clean her face on her sweater, set the hair straight and finally, to stand on her own.

Mrinu reached her house, barged into the loo, sat on the floor and sang 'Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye..' After her dad knocked on the door quite a few times, she came out almost an hour or so later, in jeans wet from sitting on the floor. Her dad smelled the puke on her and gave a disapproving look. If the daughter's vodka nites weren't enough, she was now coming back with remnants of it. Tch tch.

Drunk Mrinu had another cross on her list. She had now puked.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Puke free since ummm.....

Ted Mosby has been puke free since 93. We were in class 3 then. We were neither drinking nor puking then.
Cut to 2010, life has changed. We are 25 now (sigh) and have got drunk. Innumerable times. But puking had never been an issue.

We have seen a friend put his face inside the pot after drinking all night. We have also seen a friend puke at 4am in the morning after having ten bottles of beer the entire night. She is 4feet high. It was just amazing that she lasted that long.

Let’s face it. Its shit embarrassing to vomit. You stink, you look oh-so-not pretty and your friends are exasperated (yes they are, do not believe what they say!)

Piya and Anjali have always been the sober drinkers compared to Nandu and Mrinu. While Nandu and Mrinu would go all out (literally) after two drinks, it would always take a good amount of alcohol to get Piya and Anjali drunk (in the literal sense). So puking was also not really in their scheme of things. While Anjali had puked couple of times in the loo, Piya’s record remained spotless. Almost.

So when Piya decided to get drunk on her 24th Birthday, no one really had predicted what was in store later that night. The evening started off with a large pitcher of LIIT. The pitcher with numerous straws was happily passed around and everyone was slowly getting into the mood. Numerous other drinks followed. Anjali and Mrinu made several rounds to the bar and got their glasses re-filled. What is interesting is the fact that the birthday girl was not seen near the bar even once. Neither was she seen holding a drink which she could rightfully claim as her own. All throughout the party, she took sips of everyone else’s drinks but never really went and got her own drink.

Then the obligatory Birthday shots were organised and everyone had two shots each of kamakazi, which was rounded up with few other drinks. By this time everyone was good high, not shit drunk but entertaining high. The night was young (and cold) and people were swaying to the music. This is an observation, that one tends to get higher when one dances after consuming alcohol. That person may not have consumed too much alcohol but after grooving at the dance floor will be quite drunk. No idea how it works, but it does.

And that’s exactly what happened to our dear Piya. Sips from numerous drinks+LIIT+shots+fresh air+dance= a very drunk Piya. Funny part is that drunk Piya also adopted a fake birtish accent, which she noticed but couldn’t get rid of. So while on the way back to her place, she kept speaking randomly in that accent and punctuated every third sentence with “I have this funny accent” or “I am speaking in this funny accent”. Yes Piya, we had all noticed it.

We finally reached her place at an hour when everyone was fast asleep. Drunk girls make a lot of noise. They are loud and high pitched. And that’s not appreciated by parents. True story. And finally it happened. Right in front of us, at the porch of Piya’s place. She threw up amidst the beautiful plants that her parents had lovingly put. Lots of flowers, and there, Piya's puke, literally watered the plants. What is more, she scarred the wall next to the front gate, permanently. And very calmly said, 'Ab chup chap andar chalte hai, ok?' Yeah sure.

Anjali has always claimed that she pukes at her own will. Weird, we know…but that’s how it is. Also, she has always been proud of the fact that she has puked in a sober way, in the loo and not in the pot. And such incidents were rare. She would sometimes claim like Ted “puke free since ….”. But things were to change.

On a school friend’s birthday party, where she knew only the host properly and the rest fleetingly, Anjali decided to make alcohol her friend for the night. After two drinks, things obviously started looking up. She made friends, danced a bit, laughed a lot, drank some more, and predictably got high.

While on her way back, she rolled down the window and decided to take in some fresh air. Bad decision. Because, after drinks (she had lost count) and dance, fresh air just added to the misery. Plus, the empty roads and car at the speed of 80 made matters worse. Being the weirdo, she tried to control and wait till she reached home and the safe surroundings of her loo, but couldn’t. And out it came!

Like a dog, she perched her head out of the car and puked. Because even then, at the back of her head, she knew she could not afford to dirty the car. So there it was, on the car door, the remnants of the rocking night. Next morning, she woke up surprisingly early and strategized as to how to clean the car. Parents were at home and it would be hard to explain why she was going downstairs with a bucket of water and cloth. So she opted for a small bottle of water and piece of paper and went downstairs to clean the car. Borrowed a piece of cloth from a car cleaner and cleaned the car. Early on a Sunday morning. With a bad hangover.

But more importantly, she had her very own puke story. Ugly, disturbing, record breaking and well, Ted Mosby was growing lonelier by the minute.

To be continued...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

foggy windows

I could probably tell you in descending order how I like my seasons but I’d have trouble picking a favourite.

I love the sultryness of summer and the endlessly long days with their scope of daylight, it breathes of potential. Sure, they’ve been killer this year but life goes on doesn’t it?

I love the brief spring which brings colour to the erstwhile winter wonderland. Where once there was barren, there is abundance and fragrances.

I love monsoons just for the sheer expectation of them. They’re unpredictable and a nuisance but I love the rain showers, thunderstorms and dancing in the rain. Life stops, but it also begins.

Autumn. I like how it marks the end of a cycle and the beginning of another- the yellowing leaves, the barren trees, the fact that it paves the way for winter.

Well, what can I say, I’m biased I’ve realized. Winter, it turns out might just be my favourite. Possibly because of its brief visit and the respite it provides from the scorching (previously described romantically as sultry) summers.

My bias for winters could have to do with the fact that Diwali marked the beginning of winters so it always felt… festive and hopeful. And even though we traditionally don’t celebrate Christmas but it became associated with presents and Santa Claus it and snow (no we don’t get it in Delhi but it’s the idea, si?) and of course New Year. It’s the twilight of the year.

A time of recollections and nostalgia,

of warm afternoon magic,

chai, coffee and soup,

of languid conversations and introspective monologues.

Of orange peels and woolly warmth,

cozying in duvets, especially the extra precious minutes in the morning.

It’s a wisp of cold wind on the tip of your nose

And mufflers, shawls, mittens and socks

hibernating birds (and humans)
peanuts and dry fruits of all kinds

knitting needles and balls of wool

long long baths and (justified) alcohol intake

Long walks in the evenings

frosty mornings and smileys on foggy car windows

dewey leaves and wet grass
Hugs, cuddles and lazy snuggles.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that I’m a winter baby. Or does it?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


The whole deal about depression is that you have got to come out of it. There is no way you can stay depressed for too long. Reasons are:

One day of depression feels like a week of a vacation, same magnitude or more, but inversely proportional.
A very big drop in efficiency. You would hate to hire yourself if you saw what work you were doing.
Friends don’t deserve that attitude from you. That blah, I am fine, will tell you later, I will-work-my-way-out-of-this crap. No, hang out with them and cheer up anyway.
The madness in not knowing what lies ahead is an absolute killer. Mindeff happens, true story.

So one must get over it and do a lot of things to do so. To me, it’s a combination of a lot of things, because I am never happy with just one solution. A lot of back up plans have to be in place, so that depression doesn’t rear its ugly head. And if it already has, one has to get up and attack. I must always be prepared.

So on a day you choose to grab depression by its balls (yes, only men can be that much trouble, so depression is a man) and ask it to get out of your life, you have to begin really early in the day.

I try to be nice from the dawn itself. I wake up real early, also cos I cant get any sleep. I chant, do deep breathing and after an hour, I believe that things can be brought back to normalcy.

Be nice to everyone. Hear your mom out when she calls the maid a bitch for bunking yet again, hear out your dad when he tells you he thinks you are overspending on the weekends, hear out the hot aunty from the first floor when she says your hair would look much better with weekly mehendi. Everybody needs to speak and you are troubled enough with your own mind telling you a hundred things. So its better to hear other people talk, keeps you away from the hard work of doing so.

Eat everything you are given, and make sure you are eating healthy. Depression is a time when you feel everything is going wrong. So, atleast the food you eat should look healthy, like you will survive.

Go to the beauty parlour, get waxed, pampered. Yes, you might feel as if who are you doing it all for, like life is over, but you never know, you might just live through this. Its a chance you have to take. And just in case those amazing friends turn up to make you feel better, you dont want to look, nay?

The temple is a great way to feel better about yourself. As soon as you see those smirking idols, you feel a little revived, as if they will smirk but listen to you, eventually. You go and do the quintessential 'mattha tekna' and trust you me, there is HOPE. Just like that. After that, you feel ready to take on a little more than what was being dished out. (yeah, I know. Its like we move from one problem to the other, but then not talking about it wont make them vanish, is it?)

You need inspiration. I go for music, a lot of it. I listen to a lot of rock (the world go to hell types)to pop music (they are the safest) and eventually end up listening to that secret Jagjit Singh collection, weeping to my sleep. After all, no one understands better than Jagjit does.

The absolute must is the visit to the nearest Barista. Just the thought of a huge cup of coffee or hot chocolate with some soul curry with a friend or two, sigh. The fact that you can share the whole thing that bothers you over a cup in a couple of hours, that makes the issue at hand look smaller for a brief moment there, no? You must rant, ramble and drink. And binge on the choco chip muffins ofcourse. The only place calories help is in your miseries.

At the end of the day, you feel tired because you have done so much. You feel physically tired and mentally you are a little numb because while you havent allowed yourself with much space to think, the issue still nudges at the far corners of your heart and mind. Ofcourse, you still dont have the solution. But you know you have friends, you know you have technology and spirituality, you know people look over you, waiting for you to get better. And that thing we call H.O.P.E.

And a day has atleast passed, hasnt it?

pic courtesy: a beautiful revolution

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Cotton or Straw or China or... Comments!

We met at this place called - lets call it pretty land..shall we? For it was populated with beauty and thats where the quadro(since its 4 and trio is for three so quadro should be for four) met . Nandini, Anjali, Piya and finally Mrinu. And we bonded and found each other here. The blog came to being here too. It was a special place. Girl bonding was discovered by Mrinu, a pillar like support in friendship was discovered by Piya, while Nandini and Anjali, who were already thick by then, happily created a small girly group with love and a lot of care. So much so, that distance eventually stopped mattering.

Soon, Nandini left PrettyLand to pursue a career in what she loved, even though it took her saat samundar paar. She is currently there, being awesome in her chosen field, also traveling the world, seeing new places and staying in touch always. Spreading happiness. She misses being close to her girls and not meeting them randomly and on special ocassions but such are the trials one has to endure in life- still its not so bad. Whoever created cell phones, phones, skype and internet is getting blessed.

Piya was an intern, (as you all know by now if you have followed us closely) and had left the organisation before any of us. She went crazy looking for that perfect job, faced relationship highs and lows at the same time and ended up with one of the country's leading mobile brands in the end. Her life there, however, deserves a post all by itself. (very exciting, trust us, you) She is currently struggling with some bitchy colleagues, much drama and much more but like mentioned before- that deserves a post in itself. Even though blah can be a state of mind for her frequently, Piya moments surface occasionally when she will sing songs that dont mean anything, making random noises which can be both endearing and annoying and take you down a couple of notches if you are feeling a bit too smug. But that's Piya. She's held a job for more than a year and the others couldn't have been happier for her, she's on her way!

Anjali, the sanest one amongst us (you have no idea HOW sane. Pun intended), was wanting to leave this job more than she was tired of being called fussy and single. She had started looking for one for the last whole year itself and was keeping happy and calm and not losing her mind over this rut called life by being with us, her pretty friends :) (at heart too!) The last year kept getting interesting and unpredictable for her, and before we knew it, she had chosen a job with such a different profile that you would have thought she was upto something. A risk analyst no less! And well, personally, she had aced something pretty important. (this is the part where we go wink wink) Yes yes, the lady is climbing ladders, stairs and also frequently taking the lift. She's going places! Hopefully great ones!

Mrinu was holding the fort at the not so PrettyLand. With all of the ladies gone, she had the urge to move too. She's had it for a while but good company kept her in a profile that she should have quit a while ago since it wasn't that appreciative of her creative talents. She could could have joined an asylum in sadness once Anjali left. If she had looked for a job with that much dedication, then she would have been the second last one to leave, but no. She realised her desperation had hit a new low once Anjali left. Saying yes to shifts, to far off places, she was doing it all. Happy to say, she resigned ten days back and is now a high flying online journalist in a much better company. It may not be PrettyLand but hey- it pays the bills and its new so it will be a while before she gets bugged of it and then she will go to a hill station and be happy for a couple of weeks! Thats Mrinu too!

With her, the journey of PrettyLand comes to an end. Not the memories, not the friends we made there, esp, not them. They don't come to an end, heck no. Aren't we celebrating our 2nd year blog anniversary?We carry on, a little slow with this blog because the twenty somethings just keep getting busier with each birthday. But the blog is special. Its a little space which we created and personalised and trusted enough with each other. Sounded off sarcasm, shared absolutely hilarious incidents (drunk or otherwise) bashed various genders (we pointed out female behaviour too!) and got philosophical at our retrospective hours. And made friends! You!

We hope its been as much fun reading the blog as we have had writing it. And we also hope that the ones who're here to stay, will stay despite the frequent disappearances and the ones who stumble will take pause and read something funny and smile. Because whatever we do write- (even male bashing posts)- are all in good humour.

Which is why year 2 is even more special, because the dreams are bigger now, life has more at stake, there's more to share, and most importantly, because we know, while some wander, some are here to stay.
We are. And you are.

P.S: With reference to the title- there are traditional gift suggestions for the 2nd year anniversary but we think comments are the best, don't you?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Love actually is all around you..

Everything…almost everything in this world ends and begins with love. Think about it. All problems, hatred, solutions and of course, happiness itself has one common theme: Love. It is a part of all lives in more than one way. If you think or simply observe the people around you, all of them, well almost all of them, can fit into one of these broader categories of love. Let me elucidate.

The much in love Aah…the perfect love. People belonging to this category have a constant smile on their face. Anytime of the day, you can find these people engaged in a conversation with the love of their life-over the phone or in person. If not talking, they are in deep thoughts about their loved one.

In denial love We all have been through this phase, haven’t we? These people live in constant denial about anything close to the word LOVE. They will have some symptoms of the previous category-like having a stupid smile every now and then without any reason- but when confronted, they will deny anything remotely related to the word love. Infact, ‘species’ of this category are extremely cynical about things related to love.

Getting rid of love They were once a upon a time ‘much in love’. Then got tired of the same love(if you know what I mean) But can’t get out of love because of old time’s sake. But desperately want to get rid of it and be ‘love-less’ for some time.

Wanting to be in love They love love. They love to be in love, think, breathe love. Infact, the whole concept can be ‘magical’ to them. They can endorse love to one and all.

Experimenting in love They have been in love, have fallen out of love and are willing to give love a shot but not whole heartedly. So what do they do? They experiment. With all ‘kinds of love’. You know, not be too attached but yet have a good time with each one of them. But end up in love all the same.

Denying love Not to be confused with “in denial love”. They don’t want to give love a chance. It comes often, knocks at their door, but the door remains firmly shut. Always. Love can be denied for several reasons. A ‘victim’ may have got hurt in love, or is just plain scared.

Find old love in a new bottle They are usually in love with same person all over again. Break ke baad.Very typical. Nothing much to explain.

Having numerous loves Life is a party for them. They love life and love giving love a chance as many times as it comes their way. They have fun every single time. No strings attached.

Heartbroken in Love The worst hit, if you ask me. Alcohol, tears, sleepless nights, loss of appetite, drunken phone calls. Phew. Need I say more?

This, of course, is my observation. I feel, we all somehow, in some way, fit into one or more than one of these categories. Now the question is- which category do you fall in? ;-)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Could you repeat that, please?

There are some things that mean very differently at different points in life, especially when you are in ‘love’. Here are some side effects that slowly come out of the sidelines and take over completely:

Talking till late on the phone
So your boyfriend cant let you off the phone, he wants to talk endlessly about how similar you are, about how you must go for that movie with him and other censorable stuff. You spend endless hours on the phone and get up sleep deprived for work the next day. At times, you sleep off on the phone and are then told how he counted your breaths (YES, happened to me)

So cut to a steady relationship. Your boyfriend calls you up at all the decent times a guy should call, you discuss each other's day and mostly hang up on a content note. If you stay up late talking to friends, you are hence forward looked down upon. He finds you on call waiting and says, Dont you have work the next day? Yeah, right.

Being out every weekend
So you are dating and you have to meet every weekend, go for movies, lunches, dinners, drinking, the works. Even matches played in your city are a possible date.

In a few years’ time. You may not meet every weekend or worse, he may become a frequent visitor to your house (now that your parents know and approve). You end up watching a movie at home or eating food experimentally cooked by you.
Outdoor plans suddenly become lame. And your guy even reproaches you for making too many plans with your friends. After all, why would you wanna be out in the sun? Just get the pirated cd home for pete's sake!

PS: It’s the pits when you are in a long distance after being in a short distance relationship with the same guy (I mean you were in the same city when you started to date, and then one of you moved out, still carrying on with your relationship). You will hate the fact that the other is having awesome weekend plans for no apparent reason.

Talking about guy friends
When you were dating initially, it was cool to talk about how many great friends you had in life. If you had platonic friendships with your guy friends and could discuss anything and everything under the sun with them, you were thought as chilled out by your bf. He took u as a happy go lucky person with no hang ups.

After dating almost forever, things change. Why would you wanna tell anyone you are sick of your job? So you had a fight at home, why tell your friends? You told your guy friend you couldnt go for the play because you aren’t well? aaaaaaaaaaaargh! You know how boys think! How can you be so open about your life!?


Eating Maggi
You and him, enjoying a lovely evening together at his place. You make some yummy maggi and you are content. Of course, that is what he wants too.

Cut to some years later. So tell me, are you planning to make maggi all your life or do you want to learn other things too? Roti would be a good start. eh. It’s difficult to have one cosy little date without discussing how we will be making life perfect for each other with all the delightful cooking in our future together. I thought perfection was what we had in our Maggi evenings.

Yes, same folks, different strokes.

Photo courtesy: Cathy Thorne

Saturday, April 10, 2010

What if?

Giving Up

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

What if our baby comes home after nine?
What it your eyes close before mine?
What if you lose yourself sometimes?
Then I'll be the one to find you
Safe in my heart

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

I am giving up
I am giving up
I am giving up on greener grasses

I am giving up for you
I am giving up for you
I am giving up

As always it started with a song. I was discussing with a friend last night how life should have a soundtrack, our lives as seen through a music, when people don’t break into a song but a song chooses moments in your life to represent in music what you can or can not in words.

♫ I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up ♫

These are the key lyrics. I’m no caterpillar sitting on the mushroom of relationships (Alice in Wonderland twisted reference, and no I haven’t seen the movie yet, I just happen to like the book a lot.) and I am no all knowing grinning Cheshire cat (:P There, again!) but I’ve seen things, I’ve heard much and I’ve been a sometimes silent, sometimes vocal and many times a very reluctant witness to relationships, the course they take and the many hurdles that almost fling themselves in love’s gentle path.

What perplexes me is do you decide whom you fall in love with? Or is it decided for you? Because clearly if so many people need to ‘work’ on all relationships, there must be some considerable amount of maintenance required, nein? I’m being rhetorical here; I know all relationships need work, from a casual friendship to the seemingly most easygoing relationship. It’s work. Period.

But here’s my naïve and somewhat inane question, how do you decide that this is it? That this is the one person with whom you would try and make it work? That beyond this one person your eyes must not stray and that they consolidate the sum of all your desires. And that you give up after that, you give up looking for the one. Because to all intents and purposes you’ve made your choice and its an almost irrevocable one, to many of us. (Barring the promiscuous ones but that’s a discussion for another day. Or maybe no discussion. They don’t believe in monogamy and that’s simple enough to understand).

I’ve had discussions with many happy couples and I can’t say that they had doubts. In fact most of them have had crippling doubts about each other to the point of wanting to call it off but after getting people (I have been ‘people’ sometimes, many times in fact) to convince them that its worth ploughing on, its worth all the trouble- the derailed track of troubled love for the while runs on schedule again. Till when? The next hurdle? The next doubt? The next temptation?

What happens when an engaged man realizes that there is a better deal out there? That the person who he thought was the one, wasn’t. What happens when the married woman feels like straying, but is convinced it’s for the path of true love, truer than what she’s experienced so far? And what’s to say that something higher than that won’t come along? Or are we not supposed to think like that? That all such thoughts should be clamped down in to the recessed corners of our mind to be only taken out furtively like banned books and shoved back again?

Because someone explained to me that that is what dating’s about; testing waters with different people. But is it? So your marriage is ultimately your final date? Is that why so many people don’t believe in marriage? Its not like if you’re ‘merely’ living in with someone without having exchanged sacred vows that you expect any less?

What if you feel shortchanged? What if that one chance meeting with someone who makes you feel more at home than anyone else ever has done deserves a chance? Are you being greedy or justly reasonable? Maybe you’re trying to be fair to yourself and the person you’re dating. Maybe you’ve both been each others 8’s while 9’s or 10’s existed out there? (Yes yes, I know! :P)

I know many people are simpler than this, and I hope and pray that I will be one of them because its unlikely that a lazy person like me would make double the effort so I hope strike one does it. But what about everyone else? The thinkers, the ones who contemplate ‘what if’s’ and maybe act on them?

I know, I’m sure most of you have varied opinions on this and I’m looking forward to reading all perspectives. But just before you hit comment, this isn’t my state of mind. This is not a question I’m thinking of, its something I’ve observed and I’m just commenting on it, like you will.

It all boils down to faith and hope then? They’re not bad things to fall back on, them two.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Do's and Don'ts

Funny thing happened in the morning today. You see my new job (which is not so new anymore) entails me to wake up early in the morning and start working from home. So every day I wake up really early in the morning (let me not disclose the time here…some people might die of shock) open my laptop and start working.

Since, I wake up really early in the morning, it so happens that most of the days, I am sleep deprived. Anyway, so today while staring at the laptop and trying to make some sense about the stuff I was writing about, I felt this strong urge to take a power nap. Point to be noted here, I was up and working for almost one and half hours by this time and my family was just waking up. Yes.

I decided to take a short power nap (power naps are supposed to be short, aint it?) and resume work after sometime. So I lay on my comfy bed and dozed off thinking that the sleep would do me good and I would start working again in sometime. Suddenly my dad entered the room declaring “Do’s and don’ts for Kolkata!!”.

Bit of a background here. Long weekend ahead, so am going to Kolkata, alone. To catch up with some friends, faff, the usual. Anyway, since morning this was the first time that I was talking to my dad. I mean I didn’t even know that he was up and about!

So yeah, when he entered the room declaring that, the drousy-in-sleep me got a little startled. He of course ignored the fact that I was trying to sleep and continued“First, do not do late nights. Dont give your uncle and aunt (I am going to be staying with my relatives) unnecessary tension”.

“How late is ‘late night’?” I asked.

“Don’t come home at 12. Its not done. You are staying with your relatives. Remember that”.

“Second”, he continued “Do not have vodka there!”

Ok now I was fully up! Are you kidding me? I am going to be meeting friends there, they get to booze and I don’t!? Instead, I made a funny face and said “Do I ever come home drunk, dad? Why would you say that?” and tried to look hurt. It didn’t work.

“That is not important here, what is important is that you listen to me. Do not have vodka there. I don’t want the entire Kolkata discussing my daughters love for Vodka!” Sigh, dads can be dramatic.

“Third, do not disappear for the day. Do not go on a silent mode. Basically keep us informed about your whereabouts.” And with that he left the room and slammed the door shut.

It took me a while to take in all the instructions. Then I realized that the list consisted of only donts. So what about the Do’s? Surely he could suggest me some places to visit, to eat etc. So I went out and asked him. “You just told me about the Don’ts. What about the Do’s?”

All he had to say to that was “Do’s are hidden in the Don’ts. Figure them out.” and went back to reading his paper.

Dads. Funny people. :-

Monday, March 15, 2010

Five ways a Woman can ‘possibly’ stay happy with a Man!

The post you’re about to read is NOT a typical example of ‘male bashing’ (even though it might seem like it initially). It’s an amalgamation of thoughts and a few lessons. Lessons, that we woman more so often conveniently forget.

From one Woman to her fellow Woman-beings :D. Here we go….

Five ways a Woman can ‘possibly’ stay happy with a Man!

1. Staying with a man is more than enough, you’re asking too much by wanting to be happy :P

2. Do not Expect. Swear by this, put it as a reminder on your phone…do whatever it takes but avoid expecting from your Man/any Man. It’ll pinch less and you’ll eventually be happy!

3. When you feel you’re unable to get through him, try and think like a man and you’d probably realize there was nothing to understand about in the first place :P and that being stupid about regular things is his favorite time-pass ;).

4. Stop reading ‘men are from mars and women are from venus’. No matter where who’s from, we’re together living on one planet and you can’t be reading books to understand your guy. And why would you even wanna try to understand him? Darling, you can have jars of ‘Womens Horlick’ and still not have the strength required to understand a Man. So don’t beat yourself over it. Indulge in what God made us best at (not mentioning the list, cuz we all have our gifts ;);) lol.

5. If he sounds/behaves too unreasonable (which is most of the time) start saying this in a loop ‘arre tum itni idiotic baatein kaise kar lete ho har baar…kya ye tumhara talent hai? After this you should run, run far and run fast...but only to find Another Guy :D

Phew, I’m done, and this was such a task! Thank god I decided to write just 5 points cuz if I had to write point number 6, believe me, this post would have taken me a few more days to complete or may have never got completed!

On a serious note, no matter how many points I write, no matter how many books you read, no matter the number of advices you seek…in the end only YOU can make YOU happy!

P.S: I doubt any guy would take offence to this post, it’s sort of in their favor ;). And girls don’t forget that the word ‘possible’ has been marked in bold and underlined ;);)

P.P.S: Don't give too much thought or importance to this word 'happy' cuz it's way too heavy to be shouldered all the time.

Till my next,


Sunday, February 14, 2010

How to understand the people from Mars?!

This Valentine’s Day, we girls have decided to do what we do best! Or atleast what we find the most entertaining; discuss men! We have written about how men talk and what they actually mean. It is purely out of real life incidences so forgive us if that isn’t generic for you! And as a sort of a summary, we have come to realise that men are almost always contradicting themselves! Dont believe us? Read on..

1) When a guy asks about another guy "how does he look like?" its always a trick question and there is no right answer for it. Whatever you say, will be a negative answer only!

2) When you call a guy a geek, they may take offence to it in front of you, but secretly they love being called a geek, they really have no issues with it. They feel smart infact!

3) When your guy asks you, ‘So this guy you went out with for a movie, he is dating someone?’

What it means if you say Yes- Sala, apne life mein kuch sahi nahi chal raha hai kya jo meri bandi ko line maar raha hai?

What it means if you say No- Sala, apne life mein kuch sahi nahi chal raha hai kya jo meri bandi ko line maar raha hai?

4) When your best friend who is a guy, says, ‘So he asked you out?’ and you answer in the affirmative, he says 'wow am so happy for you!'

What he means-'Shit, how could she start dating! But she was always available for us to hang out, why the hell did she have to start dating too! I hope the guy isn’t really good and this is short lived!'

5) After a fight, you tell your guy you want to hang up and not talk, and he does exactly that. You fume that he didn’t linger on and say sorry.

What he thinks after hanging up-'Phew that was close! Hopefully subah tak thandi ho jayegi! I wish her boss keeps her busy with work and then I can always talk sweetly into things!'

6) When a guy is totally hitting on you and you catch him off guard and say you already know, he feels cornered and back tracks and says ‘Are you mad? What made you think like that?’

What he actually thinks in head- 'No, this girl is way too smart for me...cant handle her!'

7) When a guys says, ‘That's not what I meant...gosh I dont wanna explain now’

What it means is that it is exactly what he means, and since he finds himself in a soup now & fails to come up with a perfect POP (plaster of paris) lie, he uses that all time famous ‘I dont wanna explain’ (jeez guys! the same line all the time:|)

8) Like when they say they dont gossip, it just means that they smoke in one corner pretending to be cool but are having the most interesting bitching session about the new guy in Flat 5 who got the hot girl. (This one is screaming the truth man!)

We could have gone on and on but we resisted on two factors. A)We also know when to stop. B) We have a fair amount of male readers and though all the above is true, we wonder how much of this will go down well! Anyway, let us know if you have more to add to this list :P

Happy Valentine's Day people!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mush in the air!

I don’t like mush too much. I have always maintained that too much mush makes me nauseous. I am the sort who usually rolls her eyes at people being too romantic. I mean its just too filmy…such things only look good in the movies and not in real life. But something happened yesterday, something extremely cute that sort of made me feel all warm and fuzzy in this cold.

All of you must have read the post about code names. In that post I had talked about this guy who we fondly called Bus Bhaiya. Back then I had mentioned about his dedication for his ladylove and how his gtalk status messages were always dedicated to her. Guess what, they still are. He usually writes vague poetry about his girl or picks up some random quote from some place and makes it his status message. Somedays the quotes are cute, yes, I have to admit but yesterday, his status message made me smile and silently say “awww”. It simply said, “ I love us :) “ That’s all. Had it been someone else, I would have surely asked but knowing him it had to be for his girl and that just made the sentence extra special for me. It was simple and yet it said a lot! Gotta admit, the girlfriend is lucky to have someone so romantic in her life.

Awww moment number #2- Now I have to first give some background. You see, my friend met this guy in her French class. She eventually left the course mid way but she continued being friends with him. The guy obviously likes her…hasn’t been able to ask her out yet, he is shy(I feel for you guys…I really do) but my friend maintains that they are just ‘good friends’. Maybe they are, but I like to think otherwise. They do spend a lot of time together; they are out together every weekend.
The other evening he came and picked her up from work and dropped her home. That way they would get to spend some time together. I’m not too sure as to what transpired in the car but when I asked her in the morning next day about her ride back home she just made a face and said how she doesn’t like people throwing unnecessary attitude. Point noted. Ride back home wasn’t good. I went back to work.

So anyway, after a long day at work when we finally left office, it was dark and cold (Delhi winters at its best these days!) We both were heading towards the parking lot when I looked back and saw this guy approaching us from behind. My friend was busy on the phone calling her driver and did not see him at all. I obviously got very excited the moment I recognized him and tried telling my friend but she was too pre occupied. We just exchanged polite smiles while my friend told her driver to get the car to which the guy just said “madam peeche lagi hai car” and came and stood in front of her. And only then did my friend notice him. He gave the sweetest smile to her and my stupid friend just looked baffled. He had been waiting outside our office in that cold for two and a half hours just to surprise her and apologize and make up for his behavior the previous night. Later when I spoke to her at night, she told me that he also got her a huge bouquet!

I know what he did has been done millions of times before by other people, but nevertheless it was extremely sweet. Yes there is no other word to describe it. Sweet because even though they are not dating and they are ‘just friends’ he made so much of an effort to apologize. Sweet because he drove all the way from his office in NOIDA to our office in Gurgaon just to say a ‘sorry’ and was brave enough to wait patiently in that cold for two long hours. He could have just called her up, but I guess he wanted to see my friend’s reaction. I don’t know if he got the desired reaction from her but he surely put a huge smile on my face. I hope my friend does say a ‘yes’ to him eventually, whenever he has the courage to ask her out. But the way things are going; I’d say he is almost there :)

Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

Review the past year and consider plans for the coming new year? I'd not be able to say, nothing ever goes exactly according to my plan but I think that the pieces of the jigsaw fall together haphazardly but in place somehow. That sounds rather silly in a sentence doesn't it? Anyway, thats what I'd like to believe.

Someone silly said, expect the worst but hope for the best and I guess I like silly :P Because that's how I'd like to be, optimistic but realistic and sometimes idealistic. Thats a lot of tics but since they're not the itchy ones, I'm okay with them!

Acha anyway, I don't know so much about resolutions but I'd like to be happier and I do believe that its a personal decision. I actually am quite content with my lot except for lack of physical proximity with some of the people I love most in the world- my family, my friends and of course my blog sisters :) But I'm trying to make it on my own, on a new adventure, exploring - so thats some compensation, although not too much but you cant have your cake, eat it and put some in the freezer for next year too.

What the past year has taught me is that given time and patience, things can be made possible and that there are people you can never give up on no matter how tough it gets and there are those who don't give up on you; that sometimes love is absolutely unconditional, the only condition being that you be at the receiving end; that you can do stupid things and get over them. I learnt (not through personal experience) that love happens and that it can also go wrong and its alright, you take something from the experience regardless.

I learnt that Piya has a huge amount of inner strength that she herself doesnt know she is capable of.
I learnt that Anjali can really wade through the thicks and still dislike whining.
I learnt that Mrinu can drink like a fish and then move like humpty dumpty and talk like she has verbal diarrhea :P Haha kidding Mrinu! But its true :P
Apart from that, I learnt that she is right in her belief in love and hope and happy endings.

In their own way, all of them have made me proud of the people they are and the potential I can see in them.

And I continue to learn new things from these three amazingly pretty people :) Well, lets just say amazing because even if they looked like Medusa (which I thank God for that they dont, they're all easy on the eyes ;P ) I couldn't care less. They are what they are and not what they look like and I love them.

Happy new year everyone. I hope the coming year is, if nothing else, adventurous. And I wish everyone had friends like I do to share it with; if not, go out and make some!
Life's short, make some memories.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

With Ginger Joy in this cold weather- I simply say...

Don’t know when blogging became such a task for me. I just deleted 2 paragraphs because they seemed so preachy and sermon-like to me. I don’t want to write about how 2010 is going to be, I don’t want to write about what I feel 2010 should be like. But, what I do know is (thankfully) that this year I’m trying to keep life simple and chaos free.
There I’m blank…what can I write now? I have nothing to share or rather I feel nothing’s worth sharing. Life has been good- im sharing this after a long time. I’ve lately started to miss the feeling of being loved (please don’t say…your parents and friends love you. I know that! ). I know life from here on will be good. Life from here on will change; drastically. It’s not going to be the same anymore...I’m glad for that.

Mr G we’re standing with arms wide open...come fill our bank accounts, come broaden our smile, give us reasons to blush, make us fall in love :D and lastly don’t forget to hug ;).

Till the next time!
Love and Happiness

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