Thursday, June 25, 2009

Code of conduct while in a meeting!

Ever so often, me and Anjali go through what we call ‘pointless and endless meetings’. It is a way devised by our boss to ensure that we spend atleast sometime with him and take notice of him. Ofcourse the exercise is futile, because after every such meeting, we emerge even more wary and sick of him. I know, we hardly talk to him but that is because his personality is such. His huge frame, his fair complexion and very well taken care of features (ewww) and his strange fascination to red and pink and happy girly colours doesn’t do much to make us even remotely happy about the fact that we are associated with him at work.

Everytime he calls up on my extension and says, ‘Mrinalini, you and Anjali come to my desk,’ I feel nausea. There are times when we are at lunch in the canteen, and he smses from the fourth floor, ‘Meet me at my desk.’ Sigh!
Lately, his meetings have become even more painful than usual. He gives us this hogwash about how he is now delegating us with ‘higher’ powers and how we should feel privileged in these trying times. In our language, we call it ‘more work.’

We tell Nandini about our woes on gtalk, on sms, on phone. And pretty ‘khurafati’ Nandu has come up with this absolutely brilliant plan to keep us happy and perky during these meetings. She sends us smses, which can make any normal person roll in hilarity, but me and Anjali cant laugh inside a board room, so we keep a straight face and burst within.

Here are a few Nandu gems:

‘Meeting, is it? Time to play another round of K I L L E R! Whoopah!’
‘You must wink at Anjali and if someone notices, wink at them too and mouth- I am Killer!’
‘You must accidentally by intention step on someone’s toes!’
‘Look around blankly for a while and after five minutes say, Why are we here? What is our purpose?’
‘Or or you both can wave around hands and pretend to talk to each other in sign language. And tell your boss it is to prevent Noise Pollution!’
‘At any given time, raise your fingers to make a V sign and say- Peace brother! Lenon died for it. Show some respect.’
‘Look at everyone with great attention and then announce in a quiet voice- No, everyone loses. Anjali has the prettiest eyes.’
‘Scribble in your diary-Ten things to do while attending a boring meeting and then flash the paper around.’
‘Coordinate with each other and then show the thumbs up sign. Add sly looks. You could also mutter- hehehehe.’
‘If someone is addressing to you, make your fingers squiggle and say- Talk to the hand!’
‘Before raising any point, just raise your hand and jump in your seat and mouth- me me me!’
‘Are you doing all that I’m saying? Ok, when the meeting ends, announce- I was killer, who is the loser detective?’
‘Say- I have an important point to raise, and then draw a point on a piece of paper and raise it in the air.’
‘Take my photo with you and say- She insisted’
‘Just randomly scream- Hello Hello. I think I’m picking up some important signals.It’s the cute boy from the eighth floor.’
‘At the end of any point, look at Mrinu and say-I concur, do you concur?’
‘Look at nobody in particular and mutter rhinoplasty, liposuction, rhinoplasty, liposuction…like a chant!’
‘Say-Lets observe two minute silence for all those who no longer get to attend meetings such as these. Then close your eyes and fold your hands.’
‘Just hum a song and say – My inner singer could not be contained!’

So ya..having a friend like Nandini has its benefits. She makes life-in-the-times-of-recession-hit-working friends so much much much fun! Wouldn’t you agree?

PS: I suggest you try some of this yourself. I often wink at Anjali, mutter stuff, show thumbs up sign et al. It is FUN!


The Sage said...

you've not tried passing notes around?? notes written in binary, that is...

Beauty and the BEast said...

LOL!!! If you EVER try even ONE of those and STILL manage to KEEP your job... You have to tell me how you managed to pull that one off!! :P

Nandini said...

No, I don't want either of them to get fired although I don't think either their stupid boss or this office deserves them!

Besides, the two of them pretty much do what they want to, gettin away with it is a matter of luck ;P

I sound like a blonde on dope for writing these messages! :P But so long as you laughed..internally or otherwise! Just let me know the meeting times and I'll keep them coming !

Anonymous said...

great one liners to jazz up a drab and dry boardroom atmosphere:) keep up scintillating the solitary spell of sadness...after all office is also about things other than work:)

rain girl said...

wow I love it hehe :P seriously, it would be such FUN to do all this... am sure u both can pull off all of these with ease ;)

Ricky said...

This is hilarious...loved the chanting of "rhinoplasty, liposuction, rhinoplasty, liposuction"

rahul said...

came here blog hopping really nice blog you guys(gals) have..keep it and my friend also do that sms thing..we usually hurl sweet nothings( u get it!!) for our lead :)

Nandini said...

Calvy, office in the times of recession definitely needs to be more than about work! So says an unemployed person ;)

Rain girl, I agree! I think they can pull off atleast a couple :P I'm sure Mrinu can do it with a straight face too, Anjali might just lose it ;)

Ricky, thats my favourite too ;P Precisely why they should chant that is a story for another time..

Rahul, Thank you and welcome to our blog. Hope you drop by more often.
And nothing like crazy smses to break the monotony of boring office right?

Anonymous said...

some of those are absolutely hilarious!!!! i dont know how u guys keep a straight face.

Nandini, ur a good friend! :D
And you two, i want to know what how ur boss reacts when u pull some of these off!

Piya said...

Kudos to Mrinu and Anjali for penning all of this down. Thanks Nandu for providing us with a much needed laugh.. always.. hugs... and aaaa hahahahahahahahahahha goes on..


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