Sunday, March 29, 2009

A list...

A lazy morning, a shopping trip and a humungous lunch leave two girls immobile, lazy and somewhat sleepy. So Anjali and Nandini decide to sit and digest their food while analyzing why it is that they are still single. The following list was compiled (sitting cross legged, munching burgers, fries and baked potatoes) and is a mixture of things that they look for in a guy (idiotically enough), reasons why they never said yes to any of the guys who DID ask them out or just a general description of the causes of their single status and why it is likely to remain so…

  1. Too picky
  2. Outstation candidates are not applicable
  3. Guy cannot be called Saroj, Jitender and the likes
  4. Online relationships are not relationships
  5. Being related to the status of backups is not appreciated
  6. Strange behaviour such as stalking, taking photographs without asking or even offering to take photographs is not exactly appealing
  7. Packaging relationships with marriage is not exactly high on the list. Like saying “I wouldn’t mind marrying you” would not exactly go down well
  8. Pink hair on a grown up man is not attractive, neither are those extra 50 kilos.
  9. Sardars.. forget it!
  10. Not ready to become a package/twosome/couple whatever! Need some SPACE.
  11. In the habit of making fun of people indulging in PDA
  12. Definitely not ready to be needy, clingy or dependent
  13. Fortunately or unfortunately, there is abundance of ego. Happens when you have been single for so long. (Forever?)
  14. Should be able to handle mood swings, the irrelevant ones as well… A little doubtful about whether there is someone out there who would be willing to handle it
  15. Fake accents? I fink nat! Dun wanna hee-are it. Or extreme metrosexuals. We’re called the fairer sex for a reason. And guys, what’s with the latest trend of scarves around the neck? It suits only SRK.
  16. Not ready to handle emotionally immature people. (BOYS)
  17. Coloured/streaked hair, chunky belts, gold jewellery… Stay away!
  18. Must. Know. English. Repeat loop.
  19. Pseudo cool people, pseudo intellectuals. Uff. Don’t try too hard! Its ok if you’re not the coolest, just don’t pretend.
  20. Possessive, demanding, dictatorial…. Nuh-uh. Join the army, not the list of suitors
  21. Even if it is the 21st century, chivalry is not dead. It is not about feminism… it’s about manners.
  22. Personal hygiene counts Big Time! Wash your hair please, how many do guys have anyway?
  23. Understanding sarcasm is a prerequisite. Taking hints, overall perception, are all plusses
  24. Dude needs to have other interests besides dating a girl
  25. Too much mush- oh no! Get.A.Life.
  26. Point no 25 does not include romantic gestures and surprise gifts.
  27. Should be able to indulge in random, vague conversations initiated by us and not get bored of it. That is, until we do.
  28. Must be a talker (about relevant things of course) but not too much. Trying to edge in a word in a monologue of “I, me myself” is not exactly the nicest thing to do.
  29. After reading this list, one must not get daunted, depressed or discouraged.
  30. Despite all the aforementioned requirements, idiosyncrasies, whims and fancies, it would be nice if he worshipped the ground we walked on ;P

Combined efforts of Ms. Nandini and Ms Anjali

P.S: Most of these are written in good humour and a funny vein, it would be nice if they’re taken the same way

PPS. We’re only joking about a few. But we are serious about the rest. Now guess which ones are which!

PPPS: Post scripts are SO annoying but so relevant. Just so you know, the list was compiled on two long shopping bills and half a napkin.


Debasish said...

Nice post :)

I think you're looking for 'Nice Guy' after all.

4. Finally! The only thing more irritating than desperate guys who send orkut friend requests to strangers are the girls who accept them.

15. Spread the word amongst girls as well. Guys don't like fake accents either.

23. Most girls don't understand sarcasm. Guys do. And choose not to be sarcastic around women. The repercussions aren't worth the chuckles :)

Anyway, Good Luck to you guys, hope you find your 'nice guy' ;)

The Pretty four said...

Maybe we are, maybe we aren't. Who knows what nice guys are anyway.

4. Desperados deserve desperados. We never claimed fair representation on this particular blog.

15. Ref previous

23. What kind of girls do you know? ;) Hang around here more often.

And thank you. I think. Or was that sarcasm? ;D

[I hold my fingers up in a V. Peace brother]

Anonymous said...

haha!!i'm on da floor!though i seriously agree wid all!:)

Nandini said...


Thanks anonymous Astha :)

marvin the paranoid android said...

interesting... quite interesting.. but i do take offense to 20. army is no longer dictatorial... and possessive it never was...

anyways, all the best in your pursuit... may the force be with you...

Mrinalini said...

Go girls go! its a good thing I didnt join u that day, u got time enuf for this brilliant list :D
We are basically left with fictitious characters, now that you have mentioned every other hilarous and sadly enuf, real types here :P
spidey, anyone?

Anjali said...

Spidey! no!! he doesn't have a face...and a spider-man :O

So spidey is off the!

Piya said...

hehehe hahaha.. i love the list :D :D so well put together..

PS : any guy who feels is off this list, should inform these 2 girls ;)

Nandini said...

@ Marvin the paranoid android
Oops, no offense intended :) Please don't take any. Just using a stereotype!

@ Mrinalini, Anjali.
Of all the superheroes, spiderman?!! I'd rather take Batman or Street Hawk. Now don't go asking me who he is!
;P ;P :P [these smileys are hidden codes. Selective people understand]

@ Piya
hahahahahah. Don't start here! Rule No 4 has seen enough controversy :P

Piya said...

lol :P *chuckles*

sanely insane said...


you asked and here i am, reborn in some ways...same as the wanderer in some ways :)

i don't think u caught the complex attributes in this list...but the simple ones brought a smile :)

N said...

hahaha..... if u cud see me reading the list, ud see me nodding at all of those :D
am sure the list would have been longer and naughtier if some martinis were involved. i shud dig up the one i made with my friends! :D

sanely insane said...

Lazies so slow with posting more...exams chal rahein hain kya :P

Anjali said...


Oh the list would have been much longer if couple of martinis were involved and perhaps would have been much more vague :P ;)

do post your sure it would be interesting and entertaining :D

Nandini said...

@ sanely insane

:) The complex attributes.. sigh
that would've made it a wish list! Actually, an endless wish list ;)

Oh yes, exams/assignments for me, interviews and tough bosses for the others! But we are trying to line up some stuff! hang around !

Anonymous said...

A couple more reasons -
1. All the great looking guys who do all of the above are married or already infuriatingly committed

2. Some of the guys you meet are too nice to date, hence,no spark, no chemistry - just reduced to good friends

3. Sometimes the package looks good,talks well, sense of humor blah blah but then there is the "OH" moment when you realise - christ, he may be related to you !!

So, girls, keep on the hunt for the elusive "perfect" guy - I have come to the conclusion that its an utopian concept and that we are supposed to reconcile with that fact !!

May the force be with us :) !

sanely insane said...

and u felt a need to be anonymous to say that?


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