Sunday, March 29, 2009

A list...

A lazy morning, a shopping trip and a humungous lunch leave two girls immobile, lazy and somewhat sleepy. So Anjali and Nandini decide to sit and digest their food while analyzing why it is that they are still single. The following list was compiled (sitting cross legged, munching burgers, fries and baked potatoes) and is a mixture of things that they look for in a guy (idiotically enough), reasons why they never said yes to any of the guys who DID ask them out or just a general description of the causes of their single status and why it is likely to remain so…

  1. Too picky
  2. Outstation candidates are not applicable
  3. Guy cannot be called Saroj, Jitender and the likes
  4. Online relationships are not relationships
  5. Being related to the status of backups is not appreciated
  6. Strange behaviour such as stalking, taking photographs without asking or even offering to take photographs is not exactly appealing
  7. Packaging relationships with marriage is not exactly high on the list. Like saying “I wouldn’t mind marrying you” would not exactly go down well
  8. Pink hair on a grown up man is not attractive, neither are those extra 50 kilos.
  9. Sardars.. forget it!
  10. Not ready to become a package/twosome/couple whatever! Need some SPACE.
  11. In the habit of making fun of people indulging in PDA
  12. Definitely not ready to be needy, clingy or dependent
  13. Fortunately or unfortunately, there is abundance of ego. Happens when you have been single for so long. (Forever?)
  14. Should be able to handle mood swings, the irrelevant ones as well… A little doubtful about whether there is someone out there who would be willing to handle it
  15. Fake accents? I fink nat! Dun wanna hee-are it. Or extreme metrosexuals. We’re called the fairer sex for a reason. And guys, what’s with the latest trend of scarves around the neck? It suits only SRK.
  16. Not ready to handle emotionally immature people. (BOYS)
  17. Coloured/streaked hair, chunky belts, gold jewellery… Stay away!
  18. Must. Know. English. Repeat loop.
  19. Pseudo cool people, pseudo intellectuals. Uff. Don’t try too hard! Its ok if you’re not the coolest, just don’t pretend.
  20. Possessive, demanding, dictatorial…. Nuh-uh. Join the army, not the list of suitors
  21. Even if it is the 21st century, chivalry is not dead. It is not about feminism… it’s about manners.
  22. Personal hygiene counts Big Time! Wash your hair please, how many do guys have anyway?
  23. Understanding sarcasm is a prerequisite. Taking hints, overall perception, are all plusses
  24. Dude needs to have other interests besides dating a girl
  25. Too much mush- oh no! Get.A.Life.
  26. Point no 25 does not include romantic gestures and surprise gifts.
  27. Should be able to indulge in random, vague conversations initiated by us and not get bored of it. That is, until we do.
  28. Must be a talker (about relevant things of course) but not too much. Trying to edge in a word in a monologue of “I, me myself” is not exactly the nicest thing to do.
  29. After reading this list, one must not get daunted, depressed or discouraged.
  30. Despite all the aforementioned requirements, idiosyncrasies, whims and fancies, it would be nice if he worshipped the ground we walked on ;P

Combined efforts of Ms. Nandini and Ms Anjali

P.S: Most of these are written in good humour and a funny vein, it would be nice if they’re taken the same way

PPS. We’re only joking about a few. But we are serious about the rest. Now guess which ones are which!

PPPS: Post scripts are SO annoying but so relevant. Just so you know, the list was compiled on two long shopping bills and half a napkin.


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