Monday, February 23, 2009

Nice guys finish last!

Why should one ever aspire to be the nice guy? What is the need to be a nice guy when they always finish last? And I mean literally so. Watched a few movies lately and one thing has become abnormally clear to me. That these nice guys, nobody cares for, really.

Cut to Vicky Christina Barcelona, a film by Woody Allen, one of my favorite directors. So in the movie, Christina falls for an amazingly hot and unpredictable Spanish artist who brings back his hot ex-wife and they all live together, indulging in co-operative and mutual love making!
Vicky, who is Christina's best buddy, is soon to be married to a 'Nice guy' who is very worldly wise and loves Vicky to the core. Vicky suddenly forgets all about her commitment to the ‘Nice guy’ and spends a cool afternoon sightseeing with Mr. Hot and Unpredictable and ends up sharing a passionate night with him. She secretly stays in love with him even after she gets married. So much so, the ‘Nice guy’ becomes quite much like a prop in the movie, to whom Vicky keeps going back to when her wild fantasies don't end up the way she wants them to.

The Accidental Husband is another such movie. Emma is some sort of a Radio Love Guru who dishes out advices to stupid women about love and marriage. Some of these women actually break their marriages after taking her advice. She incidentally breaks one such marriage and the guy who is heartbroken decides to pay her back in the same coin. When Emma gets ready to marry her own boyfriend (if you haven't guessed, this is the the 'Nice guy') they find that she is electronically registered as married, thanks to a hacking genius who happens to be the Heartbroken guy's sidekick.

So while she tries to unentangle herself from this mishap, she falls in love with the man, who somehow seems to have forgotten all about his fiancé and instead, woos this Love Guru female who wrecked his life earlier!!!

You may ask, where is the 'Nice guy’? Well, he is busy trying to choose the colour of the walls for the house he and Emma bought together. And also listening to her radio show in his car and getting more and more bewildered, miserable and helpless by the minute when he sees her slipping off. He even gets her back once in the middle, only to be run out on in the final scene (which is quite obviously the church scene where they are supposed to get married). He actually lets go of her because wo kisi aur ka naseeb hai..tsk tsk..(the movie is in English but such feelings sound better in cheesy Hindi)

I am just too zapped by the portrayal of the Nice guy. Why does being perfect and caring in every sense of the word hold no meaning to these women? They run off with some unpredictable madcap (agreed they are hot! To all firemen and bisexual artists, no offense!) only to come back later or maybe stay on forever…but what the heck? Wasn’t your life going perfectly fine with the Nice guy as well? Why does he suddenly lose his sheen once a charmer enters the scene? Anyway, I would like to meet a guy who could charm his entire way through life…I have seen and met so many and trust me when I say it, they cant keep up the act forever, they just cant! Nobody can! So in that case, why is the 'Nice guy' just a safe bet and not your Prince Charming??

We always want someone to choose the colour of the walls with, to buy a house with, to make breakfast with…and when a like-minded guy comes, we keep him for marriage, for long term plans but not for the fantasy parts. Maybe he could be just as good you know where! Why is escaping the real thing so much fun, and why is jeopardizing the reality so very tempting..

I don't have the answers to these, but I just hope the 'Nice guys' don't watch too many of these movies and end up feeling like the losers and do what they aren't meant to do; play and act like the 'Unpredictable' ones. We will all be at a loss then, wont we?


Debasish said...

"I just hope the 'Nice guys' don't... play and act like the Unpredictable' ones"

It's too late now :)

Anyway, guys do the same thing you know. Even we like to have a crazy, wild-ish girlfriend but not in the long run. For long term plans we prefer the 'safe' girl next door.

Nandini said...

safety/wildness? Isn't it all very relative?
I understand the fantasy part, the constant need for excitement. Sadly, I think we humans are programmed this way that we get bored easily and that does seem like the end of the world, doesn't it?
But constant excitement? Is it possible or even appealing?
I don't know, its easy to get excited with someone.
Imagine being with someone who you'll be okay doing nothing with? Who you can have fun with, do the fantasy parts with, but not mind when its playing safe or being regular. :)
Am I making sense?

Mrinalini said...

Oh is it? Well, both the genders are a lil hypocritical, are they not? :O

You make perfect sense dearie...
'Imagine being with someone who you'll be okay doing nothing with?' this line makes the most sense to me though...You really need a person like that in the end...simple, really :P

Debasish said...

Hypocrites? Absolutely.

Ricky said...

Hmmmm...I think this is more of a filmy fantasy. I don't think this is necessarily true in real life. In the long run, most nice guys finish anything but last.

N said...

i think we all have different sides to us. each one has a 'nice' side, a 'wild' side, an unpredictable side....... i think its about finding the person with whom exploring these sides is a possibility. for both of you. the problem arises when that doesnt happen.

Faisal.K said...

Whats the point of categorizing people i say? Us guys can be multifaceted as well... nice till you discover the wicked bits.

Mrinalini said...

Really, have seen some friends of mine do that, go for the charmers leaving very comfy relationships...there is a certain temptation..
and yes, nice guys do n must get their due, always! :)

I completely agree. We all have shades to us. Its just about playing our cards right with one mate is bliss then :)

Categorize, we must...cos we cant be okay with all kinds, we must make our choices...hency categorising is imp...and yes, I agree every1 has wicked those bits effect you or the next person makes all the difference..

Ricky said...

It depends on what you want in your life. Do you want to regret it now or later ;)

Merlin said...

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts"

A lot of guys would read your piece and smile, for some of us have been there and done that. No, not just the player part, not just the nice guy part, but both. So we play our parts, and then we go on and play another part. Do we brand one man to one part and expect him to stay in that part foreva? I look around me and I see a lot of guys who have been the charmer when the time has come, and I see the same guys being the nice guys for the girls they love, not playing the charmer part when the need is not there. Would I play the charmer "madcap" to win a girl over? Maybe. Would I be the nice guy for the woman of my dreams? Absolutely. How many charmers have I seen in my life, who have turned to Mr. Nice Guy with time, and have stayed married happily ever after to the girl they "charmed"? Numerous.

A girl will go out on a limb, risk everything thats "safe" and logical for the guy who cares to do crazy stuff to get her. If Mr. Nice Guy was too lazy to do the crazy stuff, well he aint getting some.. I tell you. No he is not the loser ma'm, he certainly aint. But the guy who shows how much he cares by doing the crazy stuff is certainly the winner :).

For those regular on blogosphere, I am sure you have read Ode to the Nice Guys ( I suggest you also read "Why the “Ode to the Nice Guys” Is Complete Crap" :P (


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