Monday, August 25, 2008

Does being happy mean being gay?

My life has been going a little hectic. Between some stupid assignments at work that take up my time but don’t add to my sense of knowledge, I have no time left for anything. Life is so dreary that I save movies on the pen drive and watch them at home! Yes, tsk tsk at your leisure…

The other day, somebody told me the love I share for Anjali, Nandu, Pia and Niharika is almost gay. The way I can hold their hand and talk about something very intense, the way we just talk amongst ourselves and how people around us seem to belong to some alien land at that point of time, is all very mushy, in urbane lingo, very gay!

While I did not bother to explain my stand on this, I was forced to think…Taking myself back a few months, I realized I was in the ‘somebody’s’ place asking the same question. And after some thinking, I know now what I share with my girls…

A best friend of sorts (I say so because, this tag doesn’t go down too well with the men in my life!) who we will refer to as “Unlinking Park” (don’t ask why, it’s a touchy topic) from hereon, has a friend. A best buddy, a chad budd (translate in Hindi to get effect) by the name of “Casanova” (name again changed though the monicker is self explanatory). They both are so close, that even a person like me needs to think otherwise.

On a day out at Casanova’s place, we were all watching Star Wars the movie and generally lazing around. All cig-addicts, we finished rounds of fags with ease. So, the time came when one had to go and get some more. Funnily, when Unlinkin Park didn’t feel like going, he would vote Casanova to go get them and would recount all those times when he had run that particular errand and then vice versa. The fact that two guys almost emotionally blackmailed each other to get ciggies in the scorching sun was a little too much. Since when do men have that trait? Then I thought of Dharam paji’s suicidal scene in Sholay and knew better!

Another evening, all the guys were playing football. While I am a self declared tomboy, my guy friends preferred to give me their wallets and mobile phones instead and kept me sitting on a bench. During the game it started to rain, and the guys started to have muddy fun. And suddenly all of them started roaring with laughter because Unlinkin Park had tussled with Casanova (who already had his tees off) with the ball and had downed his jeans, revealing his Hilfiger undies. Everyone had a good laugh at the cost of poor Casanova’s almost nude state in the middle of a residential park with arc lights! But Alert alert, my mind flashed with alarm…When all of them thought it to be plain ol’ raggin and jest, somewhere could there have been a different sexual message, a gay thing going on, very subtly??

Casanova brought a date home, and Unlinkin Park was already there, burning a cd of songs from Casa’s computer without even informing him that he would be coming! Infact, he was there before them! So Casanova spent an evening (otherwise meant to be spent in a more cuddlesome with his date) talking about good ol’ days when they were kids with his best friend and a confused looking date who could not believe she had been invited to his home for this!

On Unlinkin Parkin’s birthday, at ffad, they both danced like we weren’t there. Really. Though the former is not much of a dancer, Casanova only shows his moves when the ladies are around. He doesn’t get the name just like that! So, when suddenly after 12, the only person who could drag Unlinkin Park to the floor was Casa, it was sweet and hootable, but also very very fishy.

I think I was spending hours thinking about just them! God! How lame could my life be, but well, you cant always pretend to be busy, sometimes, you have to be plain vella! And what bothered me the most was the fact that they were both very close to me. What if one was gay and the other wasn’t? What if those two decided to confide in me one fine day? What if I was imagining stuff and in reality, they were simply buddies??

On a Saturday at a pub in GK2, we all were merry and those two were as usual at it. One had been thrown out of school, and the other had soon followed. One played cricket and one played tennis. And the stories went on and on. I was deep in my vodka and thoughts…What is it that those two saw in each other?

And just as abruptly, Unlinkin Park as if in a confession box, drawled to me, “You know what Mrinalini, you are not like them. You know those girls I see in Gk? Fair skin, brown dyed hair, designer clothes, them all? They look like 10,000 clones shopping! I like you. I think I do. What do you say Casanova? You approve buddy?”

And Casanova (who is the less weirder and more smoother of the two) says, “I always told you, go for her! Always, you shy pig! You are a late latif but Mrinalini knows that. You two make a good pair!”

And while I searched for my voice to come back, to be able to digest what I’d just heard, none of them waited for me to respond, they simply hugged. One in the other’s joy!

While I wont divulge whether I agreed or not, I will tell you this. They were surely not gay. They were just in love with each other. The bond that is mushy but not romantic. Friends forever.

And while the third person (me in this case) can sometimes feel bewildered at what one sees, the truth is not for you to see all the time. Sometimes you don’t get it, but there lies the charm of the relationship…

Sunday, August 24, 2008

a quick update!

Impulsive decision= no job= no crappy work= a whole lot of peace!

Yes, that's how it goes. I quit that publication now recording cum production cum something company. Never imagined I would feel so relieved. The ordeal is finally over.
There's so much going on in my life that it's hard to concentrate on one thing. There's enthusiasm building up for a kick-ass job that should be round the corner; hopefully. There's excitement for catching up with family members again- ah I missed those gossip sessions with cousins and all. I can meet up with Nandu, Mrinu and Anjali whenever I feel like. Mr. distant relationship is coming next month. I'll be visiting Shirdi for a few days (absolutely deserved).
Even though life's smiling down at me, everything's not all hunky-dory. But you know for once I realize that I have no reason to crib and whine. Hence things must be fine, it's just me whose being such a cynic. Trying to find yet another issue to sulk.

Anyway besides this I have had a fairly decent month. To begin with, i had two night outs in the same week.
Night spend 1: at Nandini's place which was so much fun. She's the perfect host who keeps brining the most scrumptious of dishes (cooked by her mom) to your plate. Oh how can I forget, Nandu makes yum chocolate mousse and if you eat them with Oreo cookies--- mmm the combination is to kill for.
Though I regret dozing off at 1am, but that's typical of me, I literally do a night spend. The entire time spent was great fun.

Night spend 2: at college friend's place who wanted to go out on a Wednesday night (ladies night=free entry=free weird tasting margarita's). We were 9 people in total, some skimpily dressed, some smartly dressed, some just dressed (me). So we reach this tiny, actually very tiny pub and move towards the bar, grab the margarita's and searched for a place to sit. There was some space on this huge couch but then we decided to leave it to the grossly engrossed couple. Getting bored we decided to hatch a plan to murder the DJ. I swear I could kill him for playing that exceedingly annoying dhee-chaak beats for continuously over 2 hours. I mean dude, give me the console I'll play better. Anyway the jerk begins to play some better songs and just then a friend suggested we should go dance on the SMALL table.

Me: Are u crazy? This place is anyway so shady.

Girl (drunk on lousy margarita's): let's go it's anyway so tiny.

Me: Hmm, okay

And I like a fool go climb it, and the next second decide to get down when out of no where a glass edge cut my ankle. Within minutes it began to bleed profusely. What followed was a painful ride back to her place and then in the morning to my place.

So yea that's all from me as of now but i'm hoping within the coming week i have loads of more interesting details to post

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The usual and the unusual

I saw a cat eating grass. A cat.eating.grass. Like properly munching it like it was a cow in cat's clothing.
And a rat eating flowers, all in the same day. Thought I should share.

There are some updates to be received by everyone, Piya and Anjali's career related updates and generally anything from Mrinu. Where are you Mri? Haven't read anything by you in while. Tune in guys.

Certain Random updates
Listening to: Vienna by Billy Joel (It is my 'calm frazzled nerves' song. When multi tasking gets too much and when I have too much on my list, the life list y'know? - travel to Europe, backpack across Egypt, get those expensive shoes, buy an iPhone, treat parents to a long vacation etc etc, I listen to this song and take deep breaths. Works for a while, you all give a listen! Song introduction courtesy Anjali)

Reading: Time Out- Magazine! Someone please suggest some books! I'm all out of reading matter and too lazy to research. Thanks to college and the commute, I have reading time again so all suggestions welcome.

So now that I have wasted your time giving random updates of strange things and my uninteresting life (except Vienna, must listen!), I will end your misery.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Anjali and the shaydar

Being Anjali is not easy. For starters one has to deal with shady men all the time. Its like I have an active ‘shaydar’, a priceless term given by an intelligent friend of mine. Wondering what is shaydar? Simple, its Shady Radar. So I have an active radar, which attracts only and only shady men. Its not that I don’t know nice, decent guys, but the shady proposals shine out brightly out of the rest of the proposals. But I have learnt to live with that. What I haven’t been able to deal with are the volley of questions thrown at me. Sample this: “ Hey wats up? So? Tell me any new guy in your life?”( err….they actually mean ANY guy at all) or “ How come your not dating anyone”( well, lets just say I'm strange, I know you want to put me in the museum) or “ How come a pretty girl like you is still single?”(thanks for calling me pretty but is it necessary for a pretty girl to have a boy friend?)

All the questions are accompanied with bewildered looks, and after my answer its always a sympathetic like oh-you-poor-kid. As if I have an incurable disease. But now even I have a look to answer back which usually says “yeah what to do ….life is a bitch” At times, I feel like saying “I am single because am gay and I’m scared to confess my feelings to a girl” but then I don’t. Maybe because I’m scared that people might actually believe me, I mean they anyway doubt my sexual preference.

Another thing that I don’t get are the unending jokes on me being gay. No, don’t get me wrong. I love jokes on me. I am my favourite bakra. But really, just because I have amazing girl friends and best friends who mean the world to me does not make me gay, does it? And the jokes have been stretched so far that I don’t find them funny anymore, really.

Then there is the ‘good girl’ image I seem to have created. I really don’t have issues with people thinking I’m a good girl, a ‘homely’ girl and all that (which I am), but please spare me from questions like “oh I never knew you drink?” or “You smoke??!!" at parties. Yeah right! I smoke it’s a sin and you smoke its releasing tension? This world I tell you, full of hypocrites! I remember once this guy asking me at a party- I never knew you were into smoking and drinking? You just don’t look the sort. So what exactly do the ‘smoking and drinking type’ look, I wonder. Mini skirt clad, black nail paint with a come-screw-me look? I admit, I watch too many tacky hindi movies and hence this description. But seriously, how can one ‘look’ a smoker or an alcoholic? And why is it surprising only when Anjali Roy does it? Sigh!

I am not ok with pre-conceived notions. Well, notions about me atleast. I’m also not ok with the fact that my boss calls Mrinu and me the “bong bombshells” or the fact that he addresses me in front of other office people as Angie. Its ANAJLI and not ANGIE! Does he really think that by using such ‘cool lingos’ he can connect with us? Ha! Dream on! Because when a pot bellied man with a huge bulbous nose and ugly pouty lips like him calls us Bong Bomshells, it just sounds gross. Though I have to admit that he has good taste ;-) but still….eeewww!The other day he addressed Mrinu as ‘Baby’. Mrinu almost collapsed.

I’m also not ok about the strange men in my life (I’m being polite by calling them just strange…they are more than that), or the lack of a hot ‘Brad Pitt type’ of a guy in my life (yeah I’m a dreamer!).
I’m not ok with my job.Even though I work for the biggest media house in the country, or perhaps Asia, and my job sounds very glamorous but in reality it sucks! And I’m reaching a stagnation point. I need a new job…soon!And it’s so difficult to find the job you really want to do.And the wait is frustrating.

The list is long.And believe me, when one has to deal with all these and many other stupid things in life daily, it gets to you. But what keeps me sane are the friends. As Nandu put it, all the irritating things become tolerable because of them.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Some setbacks and a few random things

Remember me willing to change my opinion about guys and shadiness and my tendency to attract the worst of the lot? Yea well, it happened. College started, and I have only ONE other girl in class. Which is ok. NOT. I’m a girl’s girl, I need them around, in flocks, herds, tonnes- apply any level of measurement here, you know what I mean?

So with the majority boys, I’ve identified a smart aleck, a smart ass and one plain ass who we will call Dharmendra*. So Dharmendra from Jaisalmer was a-ok. Initially, I decided to be open minded and be friendly (obviously in moderation since I’m not into back-slapping etc) and casual. But did it work? Nooooooo…

Aforementioned Dharmendra belongs to the ‘chance pe dance’ category**. I just didn’t realize it would be so soon. Its only been a week, I mean! What the hell??

So in the interests of being casual, I didn’t realize that my faithful shaydar*** was turned off. And it didn’t switch on till this morning when it came back full flow, red light blinking and I decided to perfect my frosty nosed stare and like Anjali advised, to talk in super fast English. Apparently its intimidating, and I also went on the ignore mode. So much for flexibility in changing opinion. I hope I’m not being paranoid and reading too much into anything but somehow I don’t think this is the case. Oh –well, I hope I’m done with my quota of the year. (Pray for me)

Being in a new place with new people, yet again, has made me realize that its easy for me to know people but when it comes to genuinely liking, its so rare to find someone who you can share your opinion with, talk freely and have fun too. It just makes me realize that my friends, the ones who’ve bravely stayed with me for all this while, are the ones worth keeping no matter what new places I go to. I will wax philosophical and say that our friendship has passed the test of time etc etc. I’m not good at philo stuff so I’ll stop before I make someone cry.

Haan toh like I was saying, friends. Anjali, Mrinu and Piya are friends I made in my previous workplace where Piya was an intern. She is now, as you know working with a magazine now but we guys were together for less than an year and its amazing how we weren’t ‘colleagues’ or work acquaintances but real friends. And I cannot even begin to tell you how rare it is to find that one person and I feel blessed to have three! We aren’t all same, but we gel well (mini rhyme! yaye) Thank God for that! Crappy bosses, mind-numbingly boring assignments, irritating work colleagues all become suddenly tolerable. There were days when I would have liked to closet myself in the girl’s loo and not come out for the rest of the day (misery lacks consideration for other people’s emergencies too) but then you have your support system which makes it a bearable, even enjoyable experience on the worst of days so you can imagine the fun on the good ones.

Case in point? Some random conversations I keep having with all of them over gtalk (I love gtalk! Its like the official chat/messenger and you be signed in all day and pretend to send official documents while you’re trading songs. And no, Google didn’t pay me to write this although they should could.)

Here’s an example of this extremely boring day I was having while I was completely bored and so was Anjali and there is seriously no point to it, but I still feel like sharing.

(After one round of quoting from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (I know, American sit com and all but its seriously funny and they have great writers and I will watch and watch and watch.))

Anjali: shit we watch too much friends :P

me: i know! and we watch it way too many times :D

Anjali: yes and still laugh at the same jokes


(My status message was this song I was listening to- Love you madly by Cake, hence Anjali’s perplexity (you should listen to it! Cool song))

me: ya that’s a band! :D

Anjali: hahaha

we shd start a band too


aam rass :P

me: Muffins!


Anjali: no, we are desi

me: Imlis?

Anjali: aamrass

yeah or gajaks


Trust Anjali to come up with appropriate food related desi names for our fantsy band

me: hahahahaha. or Ram laddoos?

oorrr The Chutneys!

Anjali: imli is still part of the popular culture

u know sexy= imlis, in films

me: hmmmm

Anjali: but

me: so we couldn’t be sexy Imlis?

I do like Imlis

Anjali: gajak or aamrass or ram laddoos are unpredictable

Imli is predictable na

imagine a band called gajak

me: they are male sounding..think of unpredictable feminine sounding names


Anjali: what comes to ur mind when u think of tht name?

arrey!! thts the catch na

me: umm.. gajak?

Anjali: u think of ugly pot bellied guys

me: some rajasthani men?


like ' gajak de de manne'

Anjali: lol


now everyone will think like u, and then they see us, 'pretty' 'sexy' us

me: lmao

Anjali: ho gaya na anti climax


me: and gajak will be all the fad?

Anjali: ya

me: maybe we could give away gajaks at the end of our concerts ;)

endorsement bhi milegi

Anjali: lol

No plz am not too fond of gajak

although Diva(name changed, we like Diva!) has got yummy gajak today

but still

me: no wonder its on your mind!

Anjali: ha waise de sakte hai :D

of course

me: then lets be ram laddoos

we should enjoy eating our band name

Anjali: Too long

me: chainamurgi?

Anjali: we cud be shondesh



me: hahahahahaha

we could be shondesh..imagine chucking shondeshes like white snowballs to crowds ;)

Anjali: errr

if we are bad then they might be throwing tht on us :P

No ‘If’s’ there, we will be bad if I’m in it. Its license to kill

me: we should wear raincoats at the concerts..just in case

Anjali: Nandu

Plz we are rockstars

we cant look like cartoons

me: no they can be nice sexy transparent raincoats

Anjali: phir bhi

me: under which we can wear fluroscent rockstar type clothes

The performer in me is definitely coming out!

Anjali: imagine

month of june

and we performing in an open field


main toh melt ho jaungi

Yeah right, like we’ve already booked all the year through

me: hahahahaha

ok raincoats dropped

Anjali: :)

its amazing, the capacity we have

to dream

me: i knowww

Anjali: random things

See what I mean? I have conversations like this with Piya and Mrinu too and seriously, I would be worried if I didn’t!

*name changed to protect the privacy of the person concerned so he can be stupid in obscurity, believe me, his name is just as hindi filmish but this blog is not an expose of the dim-witted people I meet so names remain ambiguous but fun!

**refer previous post for the (limited/controversial) segregation of the men in my life

***shaydar- Internal alarm system (specific to girls, specially us four) designed to calibrate the shadiness of a person within a specific diameter, very reliable. Also may be known as ‘a woman’s intution’. Never undermine it, its rarely wrong. (is it getting hard to keep up with the asterisks? Should I use $ and # etc? Lets see.)

Thank you for putting up with the frequent interrupting notations.


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